Solitude, Loneliness, and Happiness


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Photo source: canr.msu.edu/news/solitude_enhances_your_social_emotional_health_and_well_being

Many people are afraid of solitude and think that being single will make them unhappy and lonely all the time. This is one of the reasons why majority of the people seek a romantic partner, get married, and then later have children no matter how difficult their financial situation is or no matter how psychologically and emotionally immature they are. Sometimes, a person still continues to stay in a relationship no matter how abusive their partner is just not to be alone. Although this is a human thing as we are a social specie, it doesn’t mean that it is always healthy.

On the other side, loneliness can also be just a matter of perspective or just a mindset and does not happen all the time for as long as a person knows how to deal with solitude. The truth is, even people who are in a relationship can still experience loneliness. This is sometimes the reason why people cheat or get divorce because they still feel incomplete or dissatisfied and thus, lonely and unhappy. In addition, even people who have a romantic partner can still be depressed or feel too much sadness and loneliness. On the other side, there are also people who are alone that are totally comfortable and contented in their solitude and happy inside most of the time. Loneliness is a very normal thing for us humans that’s why dealing with it is a sort of skill that all of us needs to learn.

Photo source: cooperativetherapy.com/when-couples-fight-understanding-out-of-control-emotions/

This simply suggests that being alone doesn’t necessarily mean one feels empty and incomplete all the time. In fact, most people who are seeking for spiritual growth and wholeness prefer being alone rather than to have a relationship that usually causes mental and physical stress, unnecessary drama, and emotional pain or even trauma. In many cases, romantic relationship destroyed both person and instead of helping them evolve, it dragged them downward causing serious psychological and emotional problems or damage. Some even go to jail for assaulting their partner or commit suicide out of rage, disappointment, or helplessness.

This is why for some, solitude is the way to become a whole person and to acheive real happiness. They believe that through this, psychological and spiritual growth can be easily attained. This is because they really strive to know themselves and see what is really happening inside of them without other person’s judgment and expectation. For them, they cannot be a complete person if they have a partner or children. This is because they practice celibacy and they also believe that if they have a partner or children, other parts of themselves must be shared. So for them, solitude is the only way if one is trying to seek spirituality and willing to learn and face the challenging implications of it such as loneliness.

For these kinds of people, real love is how one live as a person seeking genuine spirituality, free from dogma and blind submission, and use it to be able to truly help themselves and humanity thrive and grow. This is the meaning of happiness for them. Naturally, people who have come to this realization will surely feel lonely sometimes but in general they are also very psychologically evolved to be able to deal with it and create their own reality, so to speak. Of course, it is still a matter of choice if one wants to be this way or to have a family and work so hard, six days a week and eight or twelve hours a day, to be able feed them. And also, not all people who live in solitude will experience growth and can have authentic spiritual realization.


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Alter Picar

Alter Picar is a writer, translator, self-published author, songwriter / musician, community worker, non-profit organization manager (volunteer), mental health advocate / educator, librarian, and organic gardener.

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