Deadpool actor Ryan Reynolds: ‘Vote for Duterte!’

Date:

InqPOP: Deadpool, my man! Thank you very much for taking the time to talk with us and granting us this exclusive interview.

Deadpool: Thanks! There’s so many rumors going around about my history. I just wanna set everything straight.

- Advertisement -

IP: Okay, let’s get to it then. Take us back to the beginning.

DP: I was born in Ohio to abusive parents who both met untimely ends. I was still known as Wade Wilson at the time. I’m not gonna go into detail about how my folks died, but suffice to say that they’ve already gone to wherever dead people go.

IP: Err, okay…

DP: I trained as an assassin and worked as a mercenary for hire after a brief stint in the military. Those were good times. I get to kill people and get paid a ton of money to do so! After my brief but illustrious career in the murder biz, I caught cancer which prompted me to flee the US and seek experimental treatment in Canada.

IP: You didn’t have any HMO insurance plan?

DP: Dude, I was a mercenary with frikkin’ cancer. No HMO is going to want to treat me!

IP: Makes sense.

DP: As I was about to say before a certain someone interrupted me, the treatment was performed by Department K, a covert operation that’s part of the Weapon X program. Of course I didn’t know this at the time. Those damn Canucks! You can’t trust them! So anyway, if you have even a passing familiarity with any of the past X-Men movies, you would know that this is the same program that gave Wolverine his adamantium skeleton.

IP: Ooooh! Then what?

DP: Well during my treatment, I was infused with Wolverine’s healing factor. This cured my cancer and regenerated my dying cells. However, the entire process also left me permanently disfigured. That’s why I look like a partially-cooked hamburger patty.

IP: That’s nasty!

DP: Tell me about it! To top it all off, instead of sending me to get reconstructive surgery, those bastards at Department K began using me as a field agent on classified military missions! After a while, I just snapped and murdered one of my teammates. Just for the hell of it, y’know? Department K didn’t like this much and sent me to a facility called The Hospice where this sadistic douchebag Dr. Killebrew systematically tortured me in a series of bizarre scientific experiments.

IP: Holy crap! What for?!

DP: That’s the thing. These experiments were actually a “dead pool” — a game of prediction which involves guessing when someone will die — that Dr. Killebrew is running with his staff.

IP: Wow. I didn’t know there really was such a thing as a “dead pool.”

DP: Neither did I, amigo. I just found that out through Wikipedia. So anyway, I managed to escape the facility, eventually. Woohoo! Freedom! I figured, since I was now upgraded with a deadly combination of Wolverine’s healing factor, elite combat skills, and heightened reflexes, there was only one logical thing to do.

IP: And that was…? 

DP: I went back into the killing game and started calling myself Deadpool! You know what they say, find a job you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.

IP: Fascinating stuff! Unfortunately that’s all the time we have for now. Any last words for our readers?

DP: Go and watch my movie tomorrow so the producers will have enough money to produce a sequel! And keep reading InqPOP! This is the most awesomesauce pop culture website on the planet! And vote for Duterte!

IP: Excuse me? Did you just say vote for… Duterte?

DP: You heard me.

IP: Uhh, okay… err… would you mind telling us why?

DP: Let’s just say me likey his “methods.” Interpret that however you want. Okay gotta go! Bye! Thanks, InqPOP!

Source: http://pop.inquirer.net/2016/02/inqpop-exclusive-an-interview-with-deadpool

Share post:

Subscribe

Popular

More like this
Related

Sources of Motivation: Top 12 Sports and Fitness Influencers from the Philippines

Get inspired and motivated into healthy lifestyles by the top sports and fitness influencers in the Philippines 

List of Filipino Food to Have During the Holy Week “Semana Santa”

In honor of the Holy Week, Filipinos have maintained...

PUP’s Department of Performing Arts Launches its Performance Lab

The Department of Performing Arts (DPeA) of the Polytechnic...

14 Songs You (Probably) Thought Were Filipino Originals, But Are Actually Japanese Songs

" Reddit users pointed out that Japanese songs were popular for pinoy enternainers (Japayukis) when they came back here in the Philippines, bringing with them records. A lot of them perform these song on their job.