There are so many differing views about what marriage to a Filipino woman really looks like. Many foreigners complain that things are very ugly and that foreigners are just being ripped off all the time. But to be honest, this is a bit complex topic to talk about and there is no single answer. Carefully looking through all the opinions published in the internet, including from a very popular travel guide website/book, the Lonely Planet, you can read so many arguments. You can also read perspectives about this from Quora, Youtube, and many other popular sites.
Apparently, upon checking these sites, you can really see that there are so many truths to these statements. There are probably hundreds of online articles or forums about the topic and many of these views are valid, in my personal opinion. However, things are not always negative. With this being said, I would like to present different perspectives from people who have expressed their opinions based on experiences and not on mere misinformed opinions or unfounded stereotypes. I personally believe this is very helpful not only to foreigners but also for Filipinos to know more about the cultures in the Philippines.
Some of the notions that are being commonly discussed are:
- Filipino women marry foreigners only for money and visa
- Filipino women marry older guys because they are easy to manipulate
- Filipino women are crazy about Caucasian features; meaning they think their children would look prettier having a Caucasian father
- Foreigners have to support the woman’s family and relatives
- Filipino women are cheap
- Filipino women can be easily exploited as a “domestic slave” and
- Filipinos think all white foreigners are rich
The honest answer to the first proposition is: it depends. It means yes and no. Why? Because there are many Filipina who are married to foreigners that has a good job, very intelligent, independent, and has enough money to support her self and can also afford visa and travel. One example to this is Kach Umandap Howe, a very successful travel publisher of “Two Monkeys Travel Group” and a writer for HuffingtonPost. In her website, she clearly elaborated so many points that this is not only the case. Aside from that, she also presented so many factual arguments proving that not all Filipina manipulate and abuse their partners. However, we all cannot deny that this thing also happens given that many Filipinas are poor, not so educated, and desperate to get out of poverty.
Another one is this Filipina named Xenia David. She is a good and a very intelligent writer who wrote so many relevant things about these topics – dating Filipina women, young Filipina having older guys as partner, etc. She also writes about other issues not only relevant to Caucasians but also to Asians who want to travel the Philippines. She also writes about mental health, family values, religion, cultures, and many important matters. Not to mention she is a doctor! She had a romantic relationship with a European guy who, according to her article, earns less than her during those times. In this article, she also explained the reasons why foreigners are most likely to spend more than his Filipina partner. According to her, it is simply because foreigners usually earn more money which has, also, higher currency value. However, talking about the looks, this is what she thinks:
“Another popular notion is that if the couple has kids, they will be 100% gorgeous. This is not an utter delusion. Our more well-known beauty queens (Venus Raj, Pia Wurtzbach) are of mixed blood. We Filipinos are crazy about certain Caucasian features such as round eyes, straight noses, light colored hair and fair complexions.”
If you are going to follow these two sites, you will see the answers to all the questions above. Yes, I mean all! You can also read many perspectives from non-Filipinos on the comment section which will also give you the ideas. And if you are not contended, you can also search videos in Youtube that talk about these things. Just type “Foreigners marry Filipina” for example and you will hear so many perspectives from Americans and Europeans itself that are happy having a Filipina wife. Here is one example from Two Monkeys Travel Group:
“As an American man married to a beautiful (inside as well as outside) Filipina, I can vouch that Filipino women are hardworking and contribute equally, if not more. I found my dream woman in a Filipina!”
Remember, the things listed above happen (unfortunately) but not all the time and situations also vary. And if you have an open mind, you will understand the reasons why, instead of giving absolute judgments. Also, if you really try to analyze things on a wider perspectives, you will see the reasons why young Filipinas are OK with having an older partner. Money? Partly, yes! But really ask your self: why is it happening? One truth is, extreme poverty. Second question is, who really benefits, is it only the girl or both? However, it is not my point to convince you to agree on this. Personally, I see both the negative and the positive aspects and it’s really not my business.
To conclude, all cultures have both negative and positive features; you just have to be careful. Though, things like these do not only happen in the Philippines but also in the US, Europe, and other Asian countries. This is the reason why there is a high percentage of marriage decline and divorce in these countries. Also, this is the reason why Americans or Europeans look for Asian wives instead of their own people. I myself had a relationship with a Danish girl who is younger than me; half of my age. For me, it was both positive and negative, as often the case. My point is that, there is no single answer; it always depends on which side you look. And lastly, it also depends on your perspectives on relationship. Some people do not like having a romantic relationship at all and wants to live alone. And if there reasons are perfectly valid, then I would totally agree and respect them.